Swirl Antara

I like it! Dr. Sullivan stepped into the hospital and took the corridor down to autopsy, her heels clacking on the mint-green linoleum and leaving slight dents. I really doubt ...

with alot of your chapters, you just jump right into the story. The first line is often text and it can take a minute to catch up. some description might ...

I really like this poem and it is obviously very sad. however, the line 'why'd you go' gets very repetitive. I would put it in less. I realize that repetition ...

First, this is very short for a chapter. You could combine the 3&4 to make one chapter, and just put the persons name when its from their perspective. ex. Swirl ...

I thought that Ben wanted to see her, so why did she not see him much? just grammatically- I mean, was I supposed to blurt out, "This kid got sick ...

Alright, there is a bit of a blank from the end of the last chapter to this one. Yes, authors do this all the time, bit I found it quite ...

I like it! There's still some things that I would change though. .....“Not really. I keep having the same dream: I’m falling into water, and I can’t even call for ...

I brushed my thick black hair out of my eyes so I could get a better view out the dashboard. I stared at our now sold house as it became ...

Prologue The fog settled slowly over the decrepit town. All was deserted and decayed. The little city had the feel of a long-forgotten, sad place. Kaden shivered, just like he ...

The world was wrapped in a thick cotton blanket. Silent. Cold, and stale, with stagnant air drifting across the room in random patterns. It was hot now, cross heat slipping ...

My edits are in bold . Single words/punctuation in bold just means that I changed that from something grammatically incorrect. Also, I was somewhat confused because this is just a ...

first off, your spelling and grammar definately could use some work. I've only read a few sentences and it's already distracting me from the actual story. Alright, I also think ...

I agree, this could be either a prologue or a first chapter, as it would work both ways. I personally would probably keep it as a prologue because it isnt ...

(((I agree with the others, some more spacing would make it easier to read. My edits are in italics. and triple brackets))) CHAPTER 1 - PORT CHARLOTTE “ALL ABOARD!” the ...

This is an excellent prologue from my opinion, but some parts were quite vague. Was that intentional? ...The Cursed are like shadows. {you said that "Only few can gain access ...